Let’s not mince words

Every once in a while you get something in the mail, between the bills and the Best Buy throwaways, that speaks your language, with a blunt, bold tone.muddy

For me, it was this race invitation:

Weak, wimpy treadmill running pansies who are afraid to get some dirt in their shorts need not apply.

Expect to be scratched, muddied and bruised by the beauty of this unpolished gem. Expect to get out near the edge where life is full color. Expect a day that leaves you knowing you are fully alive, awake and crankin’ on all cylinders.

 …. Basically, a difficult, wicked on and off trail run with stupid spots. Stupid spots include swamp crossings, river crossings, hills too steep to climb … and can only be a butt slide down. Did we mention poison ivy, thorns, poor marking, bad (no) footing, a waiver that mentions your death 3 times … and that we charge you for this?

How can Trail Boy say no to that?

The invitation was from an organization called Dances With Dirt gnawbonethat hosts trail ultras, marathons and relays all over the Midwest.

The relays, in particular, are notoriously wild affairs, where teams of hardcore and midpack trail runners select outrageous themes and then spend a day charging through the woods for fun and glory. Each team member runs 3 of 15 legs. Each leg averages four miles or so over the course of a day, so each runner covers around 12 miles. Teams drive a vehicle to the next exchange and the fire drill continues.

The closest race for me is in Gnaw Bone, Ind., near Bloomington, Ind., about 90 minutes south of my house. It’s on Saturday, May 9. Who wants to join me in this delicious insanity?


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