My drug problem

Some days, I wonder if should join a support group and come clean with my little problem.

I’m a junkie.

That’s right. I can’t last two days without a fix. I get irritable and strung out. I snap at people. I sleep poorly. I can’t concentrate.

All I can think is I need another hit, and I will do whatever it takes to score it.

No, not coke. Not angel dust.

Endorphins, of course. The name of this blog, after all, is Hit the Trails, not Snort a Line.

Yep, endorphins are freakin’ amazing. One rush, and you’ll keep coming back.

The wild thing is, it surprises me every time. I’ll wake up in a bad mood and drag myself out for a run, feeling sluggish and cranky and overwhelmed.

Then an hour or two later, I’ll be a whole different person, flying high and full of energy. Who needs morphine or opium when your body’s polypeptides can do it all for free?

This morning was a perfect example. I slept terribly last night, mostly because I didn’t run yesterday. I blame the weather for that. It was raining like hell in the morning, and was miserably hot at lunchtime. I just did not want to fight the elements.

But after tossing and turning most of the night, I got up at 6 a.m., made some coffee, read the paper, drove to Fort Ben, and ran for an hour and  18 minutes under the canopy of shade trees.

I started in a foul mood — angry at the park for not opening its gates until 7:30, cranky that the trails were waterlogged and not runnable and ticked off that I had to run on pavement — a rolling, 2.5-mile asphalt loop.

On top of that, I was irritated by at all the park workers getting in my way as they cleaned up storm damage.

If that weren’t enough, I was mad that the state charges admission to the park.

It’s not easy being a trail runner in Indy, I grumbled to myself. 

Yep, I was working up a good rant, which I was mentally forming into a blog post about the sorry state of parks and trails in Indianapolis.

I ran in this state of mind for about a half hour.

But about 45 or 50 minutes into the run, the strangest thing happened.

My negative thoughts melted away, and I began to enjoy myself. I ran the loop three times, plus a long out and back to my car, parked at the other end of the park. I probably covered nine miles.

When I finally got back to my car, I started for home, I wondered why I had been so grumpy.

Like I said, it never fails to amaze. Endorphins will make you fly, and each time you see bright colors.

When I get home tonight, I am going to set my alarm. I have another date with my drug dealer in the morning.

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One Response to “My drug problem”

  1. Perfect art with this one. :)

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